DATE: Sunday, October 1, 2017

Preached by Pastor Mike Rosado

 

HOW TO LOVE:

How to Love your Spouse?

 

TODAY’S MAIN IDEA: “God doesn’t heal marriages, He heals people.”

 

START THE CONVERSATION – QUESTIONS:

What is your favorite Romantic Movie? Do you have a favorite scene or line from the movie? Do you think these types of movies have impacted your view of love and relationships?

 

Do you have an example or memory of your parents, or grand parents, or other family members that demonstrated true love to each other, that you observed, while growing up?

 

*As we discuss today’s questions, if you do not have a spouse, partner, or significant other, use your primary relationship of significance, like your parents, to answer the questions.

 

BIBLE READING:

Please Read Ephesians 5:18 – 13, 22 – 33 (NKJV)

For you were once darkness, but now you  are  light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 

Malachi 2:16 MSG

“I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God -of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat.

(Reminder: God does not hate the Divorcee, because he desires the best for you, which is why he doesn’t want anyone to experience the pains of divorce.)

 

What parts of the scripture passage stood out to you? What part is the most comforting? What part is the most challenging?

 

HOW TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE:

1.) Be their FRIEND

Song of Solomon 5:16 NKJV

His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, And this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!

 

Proverbs 27:17 NKJV

As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

 

John 15:13 NKJV

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

 

Exodus 33:11a NKJV

So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend…

 

How to do you rate your friendship with your spouse (or significant relationship)?  (Specifically, your role only)

 

Soul-Search Time:

Do you have any secrets?

(I acknowledge that if you have secrets, individuals are more than likely not going to share about it, in order to keep said secret. This is an opportunity to begin the process to break down the walls that keep us from true freedom and intimacy. This is perhaps a moment to share in general terms with other group members to begin that process or perhaps you feel moved to share more specifically and “Get Real” about what is going on in your life. This is a safe place to share, and in addition there is pastoral support available to assist you if need be.)

Are there areas in your life that you are not willing or able to freely and honestly share with your partner (or significant relationship)? (For example: Secret spending, Pornography, Drug & Alcohol Use, inappropriate relationship, etc.) If so, why do you think that is – what prevents you from being totally transparent? Therefore, as Pastor Mike asked, “Is much of your marriage working around a secret?”

 

In general, How good of a friend have I been to others? How do you gauge this?

 

HOW TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE:

2.)  LOVE THEM THE GOLDEN WAY

 

I Corinthians 7:3-5 NKJV

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 

Matthew 7:12 MSG

“Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.  Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get.

 

When was the last time you filled the tank of a significant relationship (spouse, significant other, family, parents)? What can you and do you do to fill someone else’s tank?

 

ACTION ITEMS:

This week, what will you do to fill someone else’s tank, specifically your spouse or significant other, or whatever priority relationship you are in?